Sheen's 'Violent Torpedo of Truth' is not #WINNING

Osorio/AP

Charlie Sheen is introduced to his Detroit audience by his two goddesses to kick off his 'Torpedo of Truth' tour.

Deafening boos rained down on Charlie Sheen Saturday night as the self-destructing star's national tour opened with a thud in Detroit.

The 5,100 fans packed into the Fox Theatre quickly turned on Sheen as he reeled off a series of barely comprehensible one-liners.

"I already got your money, dude," the former "Two and a Half Men" star shouted at one point amid a chorus of jeers.

It got so bad fans started chanting "refund!" as they walked out in droves.

"He's making a fool of himself," Toronto-based Sheen fan Chris Acchione told Entertainment Weekly. "Is there a bigger loser in the world?"

Linda Fugate, 47, stormed away from the theater yelling, "I want my money back!"

"I was hoping for something. I didn't think it would be this bad," fumed Fugate, who said she paid $150 for two seats.

The show was as disjointed as Sheen himself.

The crowd was shown a mock iPhone ad advertising the "MaSheen" and a series of unrelated movie clips, from "Animal House" to "Platoon."

There was no performance by Snoop Dogg, as had been promised.

Instead, Sheen ranted and ranted and ranted.

"I am finally here to identify and train the Vatican assassin locked inside each and every one of you," he shrieked.

Standing behind a podium that read, "Warlock States of Sheen," Sheen ripped into his rapidly expanding cast of enemies. "They took my awesome children," roared Sheen, who was joined onstage by his two "goddesses."

"They took my sometimes bitchin' job. ... And when they thought there was nothing left, they tried to take my titanium heart and brain and spine. But they could not."

Minutes later, Sheen sounded defeated.

"Is anybody else as confused by this s--- as I am?" he asked.

The show got off to a rocky start - and never recovered.

The crowd - a bizarre mix of overgrown frat boys and young girls, some dressed in tiger-print spandex - booed the opening comic so harshly Sheen rushed onto the stage to rescue him.

The sight of Sheen sent the crowd into a frenzy, but Sheen quickly went back offstage for several minutes, testing the crowd's patience.

Finally, his "goddesses" - model Natalie Kenly and porn star Bree Olsen - emerged and started making out as Sheen burst onto the stage, drawing deafening cheers.

They didn't last.

Detroit is the first stop of Sheen's 20-city, 23-date tour titled, "Charlie Sheen: Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not an Option." He comes to New York this Friday.

Some 1,200 tickets were still available on Stubhub.com Saturday for the Friday show - and more than 1,600 were being offered for the Sunday performance.

Before the theater doors swung open Saturday night, several fans waiting outside equated Sheen's meltdown to watching a car wreck.

"It's kind of like a NASCAR race. You're just tuning in because you're just waiting for the accident to happen," Ronnie Prentice, 37, told The Associated Press.

It happened.

rschapiro@nydailynews.com

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