MONEY MANNERS: Don't let aunt cross the line

Q My aunt no longer drives, so she often calls me when she wants to go to the mall. However, she is receiving medical treatment for shopping addiction. (It manifests itself in buying gifts for others. She once sent a nephew 50 pairs of socks.) I hate to disappoint an aunt I love dearly, especially since there are times when she's able to control her addiction. Where is the line between being a good niece and being an enabler?

A The line is at the entrance to the mall, and you shouldn't take your aunt across it. Next time she calls, tell her you'd be happy to take her to lunch, to a friend's home or to a movie - pretty much anywhere else she'd like to go - but the mall is off limits.

Look, your aunt is receiving treatment, so she obviously knows she's not supposed to go shopping. But she also knows she can take advantage of your kindness, your sense of duty and your guilt. Don't let her get away with it.

Q My husband and I often buy restaurant coupons - the kind where you pay $25 and get $50 worth of food at a specific restaurant. What's the appropriate way to handle these coupons when we dine out with friends with whom we customarily split the check?

A�Using a coupon when your companions don't have one doesn't just

mean you're getting a better deal on the meal you're sharing (though that's ungracious enough). Pulling out that coupon means you don't care that your companions will be paying more than you do. And that's not gracious at all.

Not that you'd be in any way cheating them - your friends can always buy their own coupons. But until paying with a coupon becomes as common as paying with a credit card, we suggest you use yours only when you're dining alone.

Q I have a decent job that doesn't involve much travel or weekend work, so I get to spend plenty of time with my wife and our two toddlers. We'll never get rich and there aren't many opportunities for promotion, but the job pays the bills and we've been able to build a nice little nest egg. I have a chance to move to a company where my salary would be 50 percent higher and here would be plenty of opportunities for advancement. However, the new job would take me away from home at least three days a week, and I'd have to work some weekends. I'm in a quandary about what to do.

A Unfortunately, there's no magic formula for making the trade-off between more money and more family time. The job you should choose is the one that's best for you and your family, and that is something only you and your wife can decide.

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Source: http://www.dailynews.com/news/ci_18224647?source=rss

Haylie Duff Kasey Chambers Molly Sims Aisha Tyler Angela Marcello